DNR (6:15 PM)

she snuck up on me;
i think my Mother died
i called her name many times
She didn’t respond
can you check?

i nodded
made sure not to smile
got up from my half-written
mid-sentence (didn’t hesitate)
paged the intern

we went in
closed the door

No heard sounds.
No breath sounds.
No pupillary light reflex.
No corneal reflex.
No oculocephalic reflex.
No gag reflex.
No response to pain.
Patient declared dead at 6:15 PM.
May her soul rest in peace.

she snuck up on me (again)
as i opened the door
is She dead?

i nodded.

they cried
oh my god
oh no
patted me on the back
(seemed like she was reaching for a hug
but i thought
it might be inappropriate)

I’m sorry, i said
(what else should i have said)

i turned
walked back
to the desk
my Roommate, my Grandfather,
and my Friend

looked at Her chart
i never heard Her voice

She was 84.
i am 24.


Gaurav K. Guliani, Class of 2007