Loose Associations

 

Surgery
Take out my sigmoid
Colon?  Whatever you say.
I’ve got a spare, right?
                                                       Pediatrics
                                                       Get away from me!
                                                       I hate needles, you big jerk.
                                                       Lollipop, my ass.
Urology
My nature don’t work.
Using the whole fist there, Doc?
I want Viagra.
                                                       Obstetrics and Gynecology
                                                       Herpes?  And you think
                                                       I got it from my boyfriend?
                                                       I’ll kill the bastard.
Internal Medicine
Sure I know I should
Take the water pill, but I
Just forget sometimes.
                                                       Family Practice
                                                       There’s wax in my ear?
                                                       Why don’t you remove it, then?
                                                       Yeah, now I hear you.
Psychiatry
I know I’d do well as a Seal,
If the Navy could just learn to deal,
With my perosnal habits.
I bite heads off live rabbits,
But shun the consumption of veal.

Matthew Weiss, Class of 2001