Take out my sigmoid

Colon?  Whatever you say.

I’ve got a spare, right?

                                                       Get away from me!

                                                       I hate needles, you big jerk.

                                                       Lollipop, my ass.

My nature don’t work.

Using the whole fist there, Doc?

I want Viagra.

                                                       Obstetrics and Gynecology

                                                       Herpes?  And you think

                                                       I got it from my boyfriend?

                                                       I’ll kill the bastard.

Sure I know I should

Take the water pill, but I

Just forget sometimes.

                                                       Family Practice

                                                       There’s wax in my ear?

                                                       Why don’t you remove it, then?

                                                       Yeah, now I hear you.

I know I’d do well as a Seal,

If the Navy could just learn to deal,

With my perosnal habits.

I bite heads off live rabbits,

But shun the consumption of veal.