A Strange New Relationship

I had bought a new shirt and tie.
I knew I was nervous but wasn’t sure why.
Would she know she was my first?
Would I seem childish or even worse?
What if her trust just wasn’t found?
Was there a bush to beat around?

I turned my stool when she came in.
Eye contact and an awkward grin.
My fists just clenched beneath my coat.
Her looks made me clear my throat.
I hoped that she would feel the same.
Then decided to say my name.

I asked her all about her life:
Was she a student? Was she a wife?
I gained esteem as we kept going.
And soon my probing began slowing.
No matter what, I could tell.
I was really getting to know her well.

She said she didn’t drink or smoke.
Her claims of chastity I thought a joke.
She said she preferred bubble baths to men,
Excluding showers now and then.
All that info couldn’t say why.
“Room six,” Dr. Apolla, “I think she has a UTI.”

Mark Metzl, Chicago, Class of 2004